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Best Funny New Slogans For United Airlines

What a NIGHTMARE for United. They brought it on themselves. The man they assaulted lost 2 teeth in the attack!!! I have had my own United nightmare that had me flying all over the country loosing over $1000 on a vacation. They really do kinda suck so I’m cool putting them on blast!

You carry on, we carry off.

Normal flights have cabin crews, we have bouncers.

Board as a doctor, leave as a patient.

Would you like a neck pillow or a neck brace?

Now serving punch.

Tell us your safe word at check-in.

We’ll drag you all over the world.

The captain has turned on the no passenger sign.

We have First Class, Business Class and No Class.

If we can’t seat you, we will beat you.

We have an offer you can’t refuse. No, really.

Do you want a window seat or a concussion.

We put the hospital in hospitality.

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